April 6, 2010

This morning I had to...
- get up after "snoozing" for an hour and fifteen...
- harass the boys to get out of bed and ready for school
- argue with Jairus over whether or not the vehicle behind us was a Hummer (it was, obviously.)
- be scolded for trying to harmonize to Enya
- GO TO SCHOOL Dx -dead-
- wonder if my grad shoes will actually go with my grad dress
- look up two words in Demi's 49 word and 2 number blog post
- count the words to have an accurate point
- enjoy the new "profile/entries/affiliates/tag" font on Demi's blog
- be startled by her profile picture
- dread Accounting
- dread English
- dread the substitute for Spanish
- wonder when Demi will send the box back

This afternoon I...
- slept for three hours fifteen minutes
- would have slept longer if I hadn't gotten some texts and a phone call
- went to Tim Horton's with Ashley
- mocked the "medium" size coffee cup
- won a free coffee from the Roll Up The Rim
- went swimming
- was disappointed at the closed steam room
- enjoyed the water
- wore flippers for the first time in years
- went to work at 10 PM
- did paperwork semi-on-my-own
- asked only 5 questions
- made my boss proud
- came home and got lectured for something (can't remember)
- typed a lot
- felt tired again


I feel so out of place... all the time. All the freaking time. At school, in town, at work, in Edmonton, at the pool, and even at home sometimes, I just feel like a loner. I've discovered just how social I am. I do need some time to myself, but not a whole lot. Eventually I start feeling like I'm just another person in the crowd and nobody cares where I'm going, what I'm doing, or how I'm feeling and that's just depressing. This makes me want to move away and get a fresh start somewhere where no one really knows me. Maybe if I meet people on my own rather than through someone else, their opinions won't be so easily swayed by what others say

... Sorry for ranting. I tend to do that when my mind's all revved up and thinking at full speed trying to work out my problems...

Now that that's off my chest and I've figured it out by talking to myself, I actually feel better.

Dreaming again!
... of many many things in the future...

... tropical adventures
... Spanish speaking people
... moving out!

Posted by RJ Haely at 9:14 AM