November 26, 2009

I changed the Zoki's link to her new blog address this morning. It gave me one of the two odd feelings I get every time I get a text from a foreign number that says, "Hey guys this So and So, this is my new number."

If the new number contains a foreign area code, I find myself to be promptly washed over with a melancholy ache... a suffocating feeling that, for some reason, reminds me of a giant wave of dark sea green. It's one of those descriptions that comes to me best in Spanish: "muy oscuro." I can't seem to find the equivalent word in English. All of this because I know a friend of mine has moved away. In most cases, that means further from me.

I don't like change.

Actually, I don't like changes that I can't change with.

Now if this new number happens to have the same or similar first three digits as my own, it's the opposite feeling entirely. When we as a team finally convince somebody to move to FSJ, it's always exciting to see that first initiation into our community. A new number means you have a official connection to a new place. New and exciting people are good changes. They keep life interesting and keep us from getting so comfortable with each other that we forget to be thoughtful and we start becoming lazy with maintaining relationships. New people are new challenges. If this feeling was also a color, it would be a bright sunshine yellow or orange. The color of egg yolk.

I need to learn how to accept that life gives and takes equally.

Zoki's new blog gave me the good feeling, thankfully, but I know Fae's going to send me yet another new number text and I'm going to have to finally accept that there's nothing left in Invermere and I haven't got any roots in any place anymore. That in itself is exhilarating in a sense, though. It gives me the feeling that I can do anything and go anywhere because I'm not tied down. Although I crave security, I'll have fun with the unstable stage of life that I'll soon go through. Security will come later... with married life and such ;)

I love you Daek

Posted by RJ Haely at 9:00 AM